My Little Secret
by tonieboo0013
Summary: Usagi knows of her life on the Moon, and she knows who each of her friends are reincarnations of. But no one else knows, and she isn't about to tell them. First Season Usagi & Mamoru. Indefinite Hiatus, sumimasen.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I in no way own anything pertaining to Sailor Moon. Sailor Moon belongs to Naoko Takeuchi and Toei Animations, none of which I am a part of. Insert clever quick witted statement of wishing to own Sailor Moon Here.

**Summary:** Usagi knows of her life on the Moon, and she knows who each of her friends are reincarnations of. But no one else knows, and she isn't about to tell them.

**Chapter One:**

I rolled over onto my side. This had to be some sort of cosmic joke. Here I was, in the middle of what seemed to be bliss and rainbows, when furball over here decided to shake me awake. Why is it that she lets me sleep through all of the nightmares where Haruna-sensei is yelling at me, but once Tuxedo Kamen pops into the room she bursts my bubble? I swear, that crescent has to sense some sort of happy vibes and decides to disrupt them.

Not risking being awoken, I flipped onto my stomach, clenching my eyes shut and shoved my head under my pillow. I felt two four paws on my back, they'd disappear and come back with even more force, and I realized I was being used as a trampoline. I jiggled my body back and forth, shoulders knocking against the mattress, wiggling like a worm on the sidewalk, hoping to throw her off my path. With one loud "Reeeeeeeeeeowwwww" I knew I had done my job.

A bit too well for her tastes.

"U-SA-GI!" the foghorn of a wake up call made me crawl out from under my pillow, forcing me to face my deepest, darkest fear. This was the one thing I could not deal with. I could stare youma in the eye, sometimes it really was just one eye, I could run into class late, only to be rewarded with a thirty percent on my algebra test, I could even demolish objects no one would have rendered edible with my stomach of steel. I could do all these things, without the blink of an eye, okay, I lied, youma really do scare me … and Haruna-sensei, but the food thing is totally true, all but this.

"Usagi, get off your ass or I will drag my claws so deep into your face you'll have dimples that reach your vocal chords."

And I'm up.

--

After rolling out of bed, onto the floor, tripping over Luna a few dozen times trying to get dressed, and finding my broach covered in toothpaste (I swear that Shingo has a death wish), I was on my way.

Maybe I over exaggerated on the sleep thing. I am, by no means, a morning person. Most people see me as sunny Usagi, always there to brighten other people's day. Well, yes, I take on that responsibility wholeheartedly, as long as it's after 10am. If you disrupt me before then, so help me gods, I will tell my dad _and_ Luna you touched me and they'll be all over you.

This may sound a bit harsh, I agree, but you haven't heard my side yet! Although, Luna knows of my side, and isn't its biggest fan. But she doesn't know the reason for my side that makes me so irritable. All Luna knows is that I stay up late, and I mean _real_ late. I know what you're thinking, and it's the exact thing Luna thought.

"You ingrate! If you didn't go to bed so late then you wouldn't have to be beaten black and blue to wake _up_ in the morning!"

Well, maybe you all aren't thinking such horrid thoughts as Luna, but you are disappointed at my lack of responsibility, aren't you? Have you ever thought that maybe it's physically impossible for me to fall asleep at a reasonable time? I suppose not, since I haven't really given you proper time to think of it at all.

You all heard me talk of youma earlier, and I'm sure you know what they are. Those energy sucking freaks the Dark Kingdom sends to my dear Juuban at the command of their generals, who are mere puppets in Queen Beryl's hands, who has been planning my demise and the corruption of my planet since she was reawaken from her confinement that my mother had inflicted on her one thousand years ago.

Lost? Don't be, I'll explain. You see, one thousand years ago there was a princess names Princess S-

"Odango Atama, what a pleasure it is to see you this morning. I'm so glad I got to be your first victim, although not if your cat counts as one, too," taunted that jerk of a prince, Chiba Mamoru. He had successfully knocked me off my feet and onto my rear, again. Of course, I know him as my dear Prince Endymion. But that was another life ago, and he has certainly gone through some changes since then. He still looks the same, he has these deep, dark indigo eyes that seem to have some sort of secret held in them, and his silky smooth raven black hair is just the tiniest bit shaggy, so that it tends to fall into his eyes and he runs his fingers through it as what I've now realized is a nervous habit. I assume his hair is still silky, I haven't felt it since we were on the Moon, but it may be greasy and fried for all I know, cause his personality sure has taken one for the team.

One thousand years ago he was my Knight in shining armour, literally. He didn't ride on a noble steed, but he _did_ have a big, shiny sword, so I suppose that counts for something. Anyway, he was always there for me, especially when he wasn't supposed to be. Since contact between the Moon and Earth was forbidden, our relationship was, what you call, uber taboo. No one knew about us, except my best friend and head senshi, Venus. In this life her name is Aino Minako and is _also_ Sailor Venus, she has more than one identity. I find it quite refreshing, to say the least. My senshi have their own lives outside of protecting me, and it makes me feel like less of a hassle, especially since they don't even know I'm their princess.

Oops? Did I forget to mention that? Well you see, no one el-

"Odango! What are you doing?" Uh oh, forgot Mr. Fancy Pants was still here. I admit, I do tend to get lost in my day dreams more often than in my past life, but I suppose that's due to the Usagi side of me. You see, I'm still the same person, Serenity and Usagi are the exact same soul, the only difference in me from when I was awaken was that I got my memories back. There aren't two minds battling for control, before I got my memories I felt like I was always missing something. Now I know that's because I wasn't complete, I didn't have all of me. And now I do.

"None of your business, Mamoru-baka," Oh yeah, even though he is my prince, he hasn't gotten his prince memories back, and without them, he can be _quite_ the asswipe. "You're just lucky you didn't give me a concussion, you jerk! What kind of guy goes around knocking down innocent little 14 year olds?" I half whined half pouted at him. I had lost my anger while looking into his eyes, this happens fairly often, which lets him win all the damn fights. But I've never tried the wounded puppy act on him in this life. On the Moon it made him grovel and beg for forgiveness. But here and now, I'm not so sure he'll be getting down on his knees anytime soon. Or will he?

Mamoru tilted his back, accentuating his slender neck, he's always had a great neck, and threw out a hearty laugh. It was one of those laughs that rises from the pit of his stomachs, all deep and sensual like. God I want to kill this man. "Oh please, the Odango Atama is _not_ innocent. You're more devious than any 14 year old I know." I could see his eyes widen for a moment before he broke eye contact. They locked onto the ground but I could still see them moving back and forth, as if there was a hidden message on the sidewalk that I was never aware of. "Did," he squeaked out, immediately ceasing his speech to clear his throat, "Did you say fourteen?" I knew it. He _does_ feel something for me, even without knowing who I am. Well, well Usagi. Seems you've won this battle.

I picked myself up off the ground, dusting off my pleaded skirt and straightening my broach on my bow. He really was slow if he didn't realize both me and Sailor Moon have this broach, no other like it existed, and he stared at Sailor Moon's chest long enough to sketch her fuku from memory. "Yes you baka, I'm fourteen. What's wrong with being fourteen?" I asked satirically. I knew what was wrong. I was very, very under age. Pity, his hentai thoughts would have to wait another few years. He never used to be able to keep his hands off me as Endymion, he was a very grabby fiancé.

I kept a steady eye on him as he made sure to avoid it. He bent down to pick up the papers he dropped, belonging to some elaborate physics assignment, no doubt. My Endy always was a smart man. I figured that since I already won, I should at least take the honour in rubbing it in a bit. So I bent down across from him, picking up the sheets of paper that had flown farthest away from ground zero. Secured on my knees, I saw a sheet sitting to the left of his side, diagonal from where I was sitting. Devoted to keeping the smirk off my face, I leaned over towards the paper, using my left arm to steady me on the concrete so I wouldn't topple over and risk him gaining a point on me. I continued my path to the lost soul without extending my torso any further, allowing my right arm to stretch more than humanly possible, pulling at my shirt just enough to give him a flash of stomach and a quick peek of my chest. I'm well endowed for someone fourteen years old, no matter how small my frame is. When the paper was in my grasp I gave a little grunt, to show my physical exertion, and possibly place a few strategic images into his mind without seeming to have done anything.

Once back in my prior position, bended knees, I passed him the sheets I had collected, with a look of boredom on my face. Boredom was the last emotion his face was exerting. His eyes were now completely bulged out of their sockets, making me wonder how they stayed in at all. They were focused on my chest, once more. As Sailor Moon, the fuku showcases all my curves, and Mamoru, or Tuxedo Kamen as he sometimes goes by, gets a firsthand look. But in my form as Usagi, it was well concealed, so he didn't get a chance to put all his fantasies to rest. Deciding to play along the ditz routine, I had gotten over my clumsiness and naivety when I collected Serenity's memories, they allowed me to have matured without raising a finger, I asked the most innocent question I could think of.

"You like my broach?" I asked him, making sure to add in a drop of surprise and just a dash of pride. Pride of my broach, of course. "It was a gift from my mother. She said it was made just for me, and that I had to keep it forever." Okay, so that wasn't a lie. Queen Serenity, who is still my mother, gave it to me, it is made for me since no one else besides senshi or Royalty can touch it without getting sent back one hundred feet, and I can never lose it since it's bind to me. I just made it sound like a special present. And oh what a special present it is.

That seemed to have set him straight, since the moment I spoke he snapped his head up to meet my eyes. 'Well it's about time.' He cleared his throat once again, followed by raking his fingers through his hair, even though it just fell back into his eyes afterwards. Both signs he was nervous. I really do love this man. "Uh, yeah. It's, um, nice, for, for what it is." He finished, but not without a few more combings through his luscious mane.

I smiled my naïve little smile, pretending to be oblivious to his current state. "Thanks Mamoru-baka," I replied, but the baka was more like a pet name that anything else now, at least, in this moment.

"Yeah, well, I'm late," and with that he rose to his feet and ran like the devil himself was after him, until he was completely out of my sight. Taking a stronger grip on his, what I could now tell what was a paper on the Japanese economy over the past 50 years, complete with a due date of today, I knew I had him. I had him good.

--

Okay, so I tried to pay attention in class, I truly, honestly did. But there isn't a point! I'm a freaking princess from a thousand years ago who runs around Juuban in a really short skirt and what appears to be a gymnast uniform throwing a hair accessory to evil beings who don't even have a pulse, saving the lives of everyone around me! What do I care what x equals? I know I have to plan for a future, in case all of this saving the world stuff falls through, but I think Beryl is still kinda pissed from our last meeting, so she won't be going on vacation anytime soon.

Ooh, I still didn't tell you how all this happened, did I? Here are the basics. One thousand years ago there was something called the Silver Millennium in which the Moon lead all the planets in our Solar System. My mother, Queen Serenity, was in charge of the whole shebang. She was the most powerful being in the universe because she had the silver crystal in her possession. Basically, it's this little rock that can save or destroy pretty much everything, so it's a wanted item. Mortals have no control over it, it has no powers to it's name when they're the keeper. But anyone from the Silver Millennium has the power to possess it, good or evil.

I fell in love with Prince Endymion of Earth. At that time, Earth having contact with any of the other planets was strictly forbidden. Before I was born, they had laughed at the magic we had, saying it was nothing but rubbish. If they had waited just one damn minute, they would've realized that they too had magical powers, only among the royals like everywhere else, but their planet was the youngest and therefore the powers weren't developed. But nooo, they just wouldn't listen, so the rest of the Silver Millennium shunned them, leaving them to deal with their own problems.

I was always a little rebel, so one day I convinced Venus to take me to Earth. Normally, she wouldn't have the power to do that, but I could feel me one true love calling me from Earth, and since she was a descendent of Aphrodite, goddess of love, she could bend the wills of the universe to help us come together.

Long story short, I met Endy, we both knew who the other was, a gift of all royals, but we also knew that we were soul mates, and that trumped damnation. We'd meet on each other's turfs, so we could both know the others' lives, but he mostly came to the Moon, he thought it was glamorous, and I didn't care where we were unless we were together.

What I didn't know until it was too late was that my Endy has a stalker. Beryl (we weren't too keen on last names back then) was obsessed with him, and at the time there was a dark energy with the name Metallia who was trying to take the silver crystal from my mother. She just needed someone to harness her power. A human. They had to be very vulnerable, and I'm still unclear of the circumstances surrounding their union, but Metallia began to use Beryl, and they had pretty much wiped out every planet but Earth and the Moon, she had kept Earth's inhabitants to become her soldiers and fight against my nation.

On the day of her attack, Endymion had seen his guards become brainwashed and turned into her soldiers, and he knew the end was not far. He came to the Moon, to warn us all and form a defense of our own, but it was too late, and I had to watch all of my people, my senshi, die at her hands. I had known Endymion's guards, and they were lovely people, so charming and so much like their prince. Venus had met his head guard, Kunzite, and developed a liking for him. Kunzite once told me the feeling was mutual, but Venus was too afraid to do anything about it. Each one of his guards killed my senshi, four for four. Kunzite killing Venus was the hardest to watch. She didn't even put up a fight; she didn't want to harm him. She surrendered.

Once they were gone, I didn't think it could get any worse. Didn't want to think of what else could happen, though I was very well aware. Beryl cornered me and my love against the palace, him stepping forward to defeat her. I couldn't watch. As much as I wanted to see him take his last breaths, I was too terrified. But when I heard his scream, I couldn't be a coward any longer. I ran to his side, knowing he was dead. And I couldn't bring him back, I wasn't strong enough. My healing powers could patch up a scratch or a paper cut at that age, too under developed to even begin solving his injuries.

I saw Beryl staring at me, yelling something at me I didn't comprehend. My Endymion was gone; I was helpless to save him. Who gave a damn what that wench had to say. So I took his sword I had long admired, and drove it into my abdomen. I can't even begin to describe the pain. It's more than you shall ever know. You see, when the royals die, they die hard. We experience pain no mortal could ever imagine, which made watching everyone die all the more painful; I couldn't understand the level of pain they felt though I knew it was great. It wasn't until I, too was dying that I felt their anguish.

When I got my memories back in this life, my mother showed me what happened after my death. She sent all of us, my senshi, my love, his guards, and my protectors Luna and Artemis to the future. Unfortunately, Metallia weaseled her way into my mother's path, who at that point was too weak to protest, and could only pray that we all made it through the second time around. She had died, saving all of us.

As much as all of these memories hurt, I am thankful for them. I wouldn't want to forget all of the pain that was caused by our mistakes. I had to know this, in order to step up to the plate this time and save the Earth. There is no life on any of the planets that belonged in the Silver Millennium. They had died long before our final battle, leaving my Queen unable to save their souls.

When Luna woke me, I didn't get any memories. I was still Usagi, half empty. It was only after a few weeks of being Sailor Moon, listening to Luna's vague memories of the Moon and our duty to find and protect the princess, that I start to remember things. All I got at first were snippets of seemingly unimportant parts of my past life, knowing they had something to do with alter ego.

One night, a few months back, I received a dream from my mother's spirit, telling me it was time for me to know. My entire life flashed before my eyes, only to let me begin my new one. I wept, I cried, I had moments of shock. Luna had no idea what was going on. I just told her the first thing that came to my mind, that I was on my period and I had a bad dream of a youma shaped like Mamoru-baka. She tried to soothe my fears while keeping chuckles in her throat, not daring to make me feel stupid. But I did. The fact that she believed me made me feel like I was some sort of complete ditz. I used to be a ditz who felt incomplete, but now I'm finally complete and no longer a ditz. Funny how life works sometimes.

I thought of telling her the real story, that I was the Moon Princess we were working our perky little asses off to find, but I decided against it. If they were meant to know, then they'd know. Queen Serenity would have gone into their minds and released their memories if it was the way things were meant to be. I know they'll remember everything sometime. They have to, it's impossible to kill Beryl without having all of our strength. I trust her, she is my mother, and I trust her with my life. I have no other choice.

Which takes us to the present. I still act like incomplete Usagi. Ditzy, clumsy, not that bright (okay fine, I was an airhead), and I'm still the stubborn little mule. I was always the stubborn little mule, mind you, no matter what my name was. I'm glad both parts of me share that trait; it makes my life a whole lot easier.

I think I've done a pretty good job in summarizing one thousand years worth of events, don't you? I didn't list the stuff that happened in between, but that's neither here nor there. These days, my heart belongs to my friends, my new family, and my baka. I'm not worried about the youma. I get a little frazzled, of course, but I know they aren't any big threats. The only thing that scares me is that I can't do my job right. If I were to use my true power, even if it were a watered down version, my senshi would be asking questions, unknowing as to changed in me to make me so powerful, and I can't reveal to them my secret yet.

For now, this will be my little secret.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I in no way own anything pertaining to Sailor Moon. Sailor Moon belongs to Naoko Takeuchi and Toei Animations, none of which I am a part of. Insert clever quick witted statement of wishing to own Sailor Moon Here.

**Summary:** Usagi knows of her life on the Moon, and she knows who each of her friends are reincarnations of. But no one else knows, and she isn't about to tell them.

**Chapter Two:**

"Usagi-chan," I swore I could hear my name being called, but that wasn't possible. People can't call your name while you're flying. "Usagi-chan," Damn it, there it is again. "Usagi-chan!" Uh oh, the apparition is getting mad, this is not good.

Next thing I knew, my flight over Juuban came crashing to a halt when I fell like deadweight into the park. Oh how very original. Why does everything happen in the park anyway? "Usagi-chan!" Crap. I swear, one of these days those things out there are gonna get it, if I can ever get my hands on them. Which, would be kinda hard, since I have no idea what those things are. I can't even see them. "Usagi-chan?" Great, now they're worrying about me. They should just get their story straight. Either you want to scare me or cuddle me, you can't have both!

I knew that face. Staring up from my position on the grass I could see the clouds shifting their weight around in the clear blue sky. They began thickening together, causing a blunt picture to form. I could see a jaw outline, the nose pointing off to the side, the hair was being formed-. I knew that hair. "BAKA!" I screeched at the despicable cloud. He always found some way to ruin my fun, didn't he?

"ODANGO ATAMA!" the cloud's voice was ringing in my ears. Funny, I couldn't see its' lips move. Maybe clouds don't need lips to make a sound; everything else was freaky, why not ominous puffs of white floating above my head, taunting me without batting a feathery eyelash. I now had a keen dislike to precipitation. "ODANGO?!"

My head snapped out of the hand it was resting in and swung down to hit the counter hard. 'Damn it, these daydreams are really getting dangerous,' I thought to myself, knowing it was all too true. "Itai," was the only sound my body allowed me to make, and it came out in more of a whimper than anything else. I heard that same boisterous laugh I heard this morning, and knew my life had just gone to hell. 'Baka,' I mentally spat out, the word like poison to my soul. You'd think that I'd have some level of tolerance for my true love, but true love had its limits and he was pushing mine.

I could feel his eyes on the back of my head and I knew I couldn't get away. Whatever I had done to fluster him that morning flew out the window the moment my drool hit the counter, which I suspect was back when I was twirling in the field. "Odango? Need a napkin?" I could hear the amusement ringing in his ears, knowing he'd won. There's just no way that someone could wiggle their way out of this one.

I adjusted my head just the tiniest so I could wipe the leftover saliva from the corner of my mouth before I sat up straight and spun around to face the enemy. And what a good looking enemy it was. His eyes were doused in the same amusement that lined his voice, and I could see the wheels spinning in his head as he tried to calculate my next move. I wish he knew because then I'd have something to go by. 'What do I do _now_?'

I did the only thing I could think of. I pulled out the pity card, nice and slow. Slowly letting my eyes roll to the back of my head, I fluttered my eyes shut while making sure to catch a glimpse at my target. Hook.

Standing on my feet I tried to regain balance only to sway back and forth in a weary attempt to gain control of my wobbling limbs. Making sure the knees buckled ever so lightly, I let a small moan of confusion exit my lips, adding to the whole package. Line.

Only one thing left to set the tone. I jerked my knees forward in an effort appear completely out of it and made another small whimper, this time one of helplessness and awaiting pain. I was never one to do things half assed, I must say. Tossing my head back and letting it sling over my shoulders I leaned my body forward sure to be caught by awaiting arms. Sinker.

Damn it. That ass decided to float.

I felt my nose hit ceramic and I was not pleased. The whimper I released this time was true, and it really did sound like I was in pain. I didn't dare get up, that would admit defeat. So I lay there, like a little fish on the shore, just waiting for someone to help us out of our troublesome positions and let us swim free again. Mamoru was going to pay for letting me fall, especially when he gets his memories back.

Princess or not, you do _not_ let a girl take the fall, even if it was you who pushed her over the cliff, you dive in after her, damn it! He doesn't have to remember wearing armour to cushion the fall for a poor little lady like me! This. Meant. War.

Finally, I felt his strong hands swoop around my back to latch onto my stomach, pulling me up far enough to switch his hands around and pick me up bridal style. 'Well it's about time, you ass.' I was beginning to think that he really was an asshole, memories or not. If he's a mean person, then he'll pay for being nice to me back in the Silver Millennium. Well, no, not for being nice, but for lying about being nice! Oi, I was beginning to get a headache, and not just from my cranium banging against a hard surface for the second time in as many minutes.

My back hit cushion and I immediately felt better. I know I was supposed to be unconscious, but I could still hear everything they were saying. Correction, everything the boys were saying. My senshi were nowhere in sight, er, hearing range. I didn't even hear their voices trying to call me. It had been Motoki.

'Alright, where are they? They might not know I'm their princess, but I'm their friend and their leader, they couldn't have just left me on the stool to die, right? Well, Rei-chan's a different story. Mars never did have much patience for me.'

And that's when the heavens opened up. They began to call my name, chanting it as the lights got whiter and brighter. I could picture the smiling faces of all my friends and my Mamo-chan (mental note: remember cute nickname), welcoming me back into their lives. Oh this was pure bliss. This, oh my, I can't even think of the words to describe it. It was, it was.

It was freaking awesome.

And that's when it hit me. The pond dunked on top of me was none too refreshing. My eyes flew open only to see Mamoru's smirking face. Not a drop of pity or remorse on it. 'Well I'll be damned.' Held in his hand was a now empty bucket that I knew held the raggedy mop, water dripping from the lip. There didn't seem to be any gates leading to the after-after life around, so I realized I must have hit my head harder than I thought. If I wasn't going to heaven, I was about to break loose all hell.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? I banged my head twice back there and you never seemed to flinch! I could've gotten a concussion! Did you ever think of that? Ooh you make me so mad sometimes. You know I could have seriously hurt myself just now, and I know you know that, Mr. Med Student. God Endy, sometimes you just don't think!" I ended my rant, lungs heaving for air while my eyes were struck onto my target. The target that kept getting harder to hit.

He looked at me like I was his mother scolding him for feeding his vegetables to the dog or something. Eyes rolling in an attempt to make me feel stupid and dramatic. His eyes always were expressive and it seemed to do the trick. His eyes swung back in my direction, locking on. They squinted like he was trying real hard to count up to six on one hand and his head tilted to the side, studying my face all the while. He looked adorable.

"Who's Endy?"

He looked like a brat. His arms were folded over his chest and he was leaning forward slightly, making me feel weak and inferior. "Endy?" I gulped. Then I realized my mistake. 'For the love of Selene, Usagi, did you have to call the man by his name from the past life? What ever happened to Mamo-chan?' 'Endy, Endy … Endy Lord said, 'You shall repent for your sins.'"

Alright, weak material, I know. But what would you have done?

'Oh no. Ohhhh no.' I could see it coming a mile away, and was just waiting for the dam to break. I wasn't disappointed.

He doubled over like he had just gotten the wind knocked out of him, blocking his face from my sight, but I knew I wouldn't like it anyway. His legs wobbled on unstable feet, sending him crashing onto the floor as I had done just minutes before, but he was enjoying his trip. The laughter went from deep and sensual to high pitched wails, back and forth as he'd be left gasping for air.

I sat back down on the sofa, bringing my knees up to my chin and laying my head upon them, my arms wrapped around my legs to secure them in place. I could feel the tears that were welling up in my eyes, and I couldn't help it. Hopefully he wouldn't notice them since I was drenched in pine sol scented water anyway. It didn't feel any more comforting than if I had mascara stains running down my cheeks, I knew he'd find out. I couldn't stop them, it just hurt too much. This man was the man I was in love with. My mother had died to keep us together, entire kingdoms had fallen because of our love, and my friends will never get to see their families ever again, even when their memories are returned. The existence of the Silver Millennium fell at our feet and we let it crumble.

Why? So we could be reincarnated as two people who hate each other? Well, I don't hate him anymore, how could I? I had a crush on him when I was empty Usagi, and I had a thing for Tuxedo Kamen, but for them to be the same person _and_ my lover from another life? I couldn't hold it in any longer.

My soft sighs of heartache became heaving, trembling sobs of anguish and guilt, taking over my system in a one sided fight. This is what everyone died for? A stupid nickname and hurtful games against one another? Hadn't Pluto seen this somehow? Why didn't she put a stop to this before Beryl ever happened? Why hadn't my mother given my Endymion his memories back? Why was I the only one who had all the answers and was the reason for all the questions? Why was nothing working out like they should have?

If I had bothered to look down at my soul mate, I would have seen a man in pain. He had just as much hurt and guilt in his eyes, but he hadn't the reasons why. He didn't know what set off my tears, but he knew he was involved somehow. Everyone knew I was a cry-baby. But that was over stupid things. I couldn't afford a milkshake, or someone had beaten my high score on the Sailor V game, not resting the lives of those all over the universe on my shoulders. The universe that came crashing down because I just had to break the rules and find my 'one true love'. Look where that one true love is now.

Crouched on the floor next to a pale that he used to throw water onto his lover, to cause her embarrassment, to get back at her for something she didn't understand. I hadn't started a fight between us since I regained my memories. But I couldn't just let it go, because if I did then that would give him more chances to make fun of me, coming to the conclusion that I was a wimpy little girl who couldn't handle an adult conversation nor whose mind could contain a single mature thought. I'd be seen as a waste of space with a bad hairstyle and I knew it. All I was trying to do was appear strong and confident, and maybe, just maybe get some of his respect for having a backbone. Instead, I got this. A lover who had become a fighter by choice.

I wanted to tell him of our past so bad, just to let him know how much I care about him. Maybe, he'll think I only love him because I loved him in a past life. Because I don't love this Mamoru, I can't. He is only half the man that he's supposed to be. A part of him is missing, and I can't fill the void, as hard as I may try I can't do it. He has to become whole again before we can be together. We can't be each others' other halves. And so I have no other option than to wait. And continue waiting is what I've done for the past months on end, and it's really getting hard to keep up the charade.

Sometimes I wonder if none of them will retrieve their memories, if I were the only one to remember, and I don't know if I could do it. My friends won't remember the times we had together, how strong our bond was. My guardians will continue to think of me as a failure because of my klutziness and lack of brains, even though I know it's not true. Even if they find out I'm their princess, they'll still see me as Usagi the Odango Atama who was a powerful person, in a past life, and is now a smaller version of that power. They won't remember that it takes time to harness my powers, and at fourteen I do not have full control, though I am extremely powerful.

But worst of all, is that my Mamo-chan, my Endy, my hero in a tuxedo, Tuxedo Kamen, will never be able to love me. It's impossible to love someone when you aren't even sure of whom you are, I know that. I cannot make this man love me if things don't change.

Then I felt a hand place itself on my shoulder ever so lightly, like the owner was afraid they'd break me if they held me too hard. Looking up, I saw the only person I wanted to see. My Mamo-chan. He stuck a box of tissues in front of my face causing me to jolt backwards to avoid getting poked in the eye.

"Gomen, Usagi-chan." He apologized to me in a soft voice that was just above a whisper. "I didn't think you'd get so upset," Okay, an apology is a good sign. I showed my gratitude my turning my lips upward in a weak smile, but I knew my eyes expressed my thankfulness and I saw his reflect the same emotion. 'He was worried that I wouldn't forgive him. Why would he think that? I always forgive people, it's my forte.'

"Arigato Mamoru-baka," I giggled, causing the baka to present itself as a term of endearment. From the frown on his face I could tell I hadn't gotten my message across. "Gomen. Mamoru-_san_," I greeted him, hoping that this time he'd realize I wasn't mad at him. It worked; I had turned that frown upside down. "I was just a little dazed from when I fainted, and that wasn't the most pleasant way to be greeted after such an event. My brain's still a little frazzled, I overreacted. Please accept my apologies, Mamoru-san." I pleaded with him in the most sincere tone possible.

His eyes widened in astonishment. 'Crap, smart talk.' I hurried to fix my mistake; it still was too early for any of them to know! "I-I mean, gomen Mamoru-baka. I'm such a space cadet," Bad cover, I know, and I bet the nervous laughter and doubt in my eyes at the end really made it seem convincing.

He relaxed his face and did another thing I didn't know he'd learned to do. He gave me a warm, heartfelt smile. There was a small touch of sympathy in his eyes, but I couldn't quite tell why. "Usagi-chan, why do you feel you have to lie to me?" Okay, this man was giving me the heeby jeebies. How did he know I was lying, I wasn't lying. I was pretending to be something I'm not, but I was before. Totally not a lie.

"What do you mean baka? I told you I was out of it, no lie there," I had hoped that my harsh tone of voice had convinced him of my statement. But the look of compassion and warmth never wavered from his face, and I knew I hadn't.

"You're pretending to be someone you're not, _Odango_," he said my nickname with a tone of sarcasm and question, and I knew he didn't think of me as Odango Atama anymore, "You shouldn't feel like you have to play dumb if you're not. And from the way you apologized back there, the fact that you apologized to _me_ of all people proves it. Why are you lying Usagi-chan?"

He had me, and we both knew it. At least I finally had someone I could be my true self with. Minus that fact I'm a princess from the Moon, but that'll come out later. For now, I was content with some intellectual stimulation. I let out a sigh of exasperation and tried to put into words how I felt. "Fine, fine. You got me. Truth is, I'm not an airhead. I'm not a klutz and my stomach kills from drinking all those milkshakes. I haven't been a ditz in months, but I haven't had the heart, or courage, to tell anyone. I just went through a change a while back, and I grew up. Rather quickly, I might add. But I can't show my friends and family," I threw him a sideways glance to see how he was doing, and his face was the poster picture for content and understanding. Maybe I could learn to love this half man after all, "or my baka." At this we both laughed, breaking the tension the situation had created. "Everyone would be asking me questions, thinking I was delirious from a fever, or I was taken over by aliens, which isn't all that unlikely seeing what's been going around Juuban as of late." His face froze for a split second and I had to hold in a giggle at his protection of his alter ego, when I knew all along whom he was. "The fact of the matter is, nobody's ready to see me for who I truly am, and who am I to squash their dreams, ne? I'm still Usagi, don't ever doubt that, but I'm just a revamped version. New and improved." I paused and tilted my head to the side, "Well, not _completely_ improved, I can still sleep through a train wreck and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon." I stated with a serious tone of voice and looked him straight in the eye. He gave out a little laugh, knowing I wasn't being a ditz, but I can be sarcastic and witty. 'Thank gods, I didn't know what I'd do if he thought I was faking all this.' "So, in summary, I guess you could say I'm like you, only miniature." At this statement he blushed a dark crimson, but I couldn't think of why.

He leaned back into the couch where he had taken a seat during the middle of my explanation, releasing a sigh of, a sigh of something I couldn't quite figure out. He turned to look into my eyes and they were full of amusement, but not in a taunting fashion that I had become accustomed to, he was impressed. "Well Usagi-chan, I must say. You managed to scare the crap outta me," he chuckled. At first I felt insulted, he was calling me stupid! But then I thought about it some more, and he was giving me a compliment. I was smarter than he thought possible and was accepting of the fact. "Only thing I don't understand is why you wouldn't tell people. Especially those close to you. After they'd toss a few jokes at you, they'd realize you were serious, that this is who you are. How could you think that they wouldn't accept the new you? Not that there was anything wrong with the old Usagi, don't get me wrong, but change doesn't always have to be a bad thing, ne?"

A gracious smile fought its way onto my lips, admiring this man more than anyone in the world. "I agree, change isn't a bad thing most of the time, unlike now. I have no problem with who I am; I accept my metamorphosis as much as I accepted my carefree dimwitted era. But I am not yet ready to explain to them how or why my change has been so drastic in such a short amount of time. I know they'll ask questions and won't stop until they get answers. I don't have all of the answers as of yet, and those I do know I am not ready to come forth with. My only choice is to wait until they themselves are ready. It isn't so bad, Mamoru-san. I've come to look forward to my time alone, gives me a chance to think things through. Solitude has become my sanctuary, the only place I can express my true self, and that will have to do for now. I get to read a lot, which is nice. Though I still have to catch up on my manga, wouldn't do the girls any good to know I was slacking off on what used to be my will to live. No, I'm just fine, as you can plainly see."

His smile shrunk back a little, conforming to the look of confusion on his face. 'Didn't I explain myself well enough?' "No Usagi-chan, you aren't doing fine. I know you weren't crying because I only threw water on you. Was it because of your secret? You can't keep it to yourself forever, you know. One of these days you'll have to tell them, whether they seem ready or not. As for solitude, it's no one's sanctuary. You need to have someone you can talk to about these things. And what's with the daydreams? They were never this bad, even I know that." His cause for concern warmed my heart. He was worried about me, he accepted that this is who I was and he was willing to help.

I could only tell him the truth; I couldn't hold it back from him any longer. "Hai, Mamoru-san. I was upset, and partially ashamed, because of my secret. It becomes so hard to carry after some time, and becomes a burden. It keeps getting harder to conceal, and I guess I just kind of lost it back there. As for the daydreams, I am aware that they've become more troublesome. It seems to have become a side effect, I guess you could say. They occur more often, are longer, more outlandish and it's harder than ever to drop out of them. I don't really understand why, but there must be a reason. It's terrible in school. I am smarter, I know that, but I don't really see the point in schooling. It won't have much use for me. Besides, if I were to shape up in my studies, then that would lead to suspicion, which is what I'm trying to avoid."

"Why do you feel like you don't need an education? Everyone needs an education, Usagi-chan, no matter how bright they may be," I knew he had a point, but I didn't appreciate the scolding tone of his message. I thought I had made it clear that I was not a child. At least, I did not think like a child.

'Since I'm your alter ego's love interest, Sailor Moon, who saves the world night after night, I think I can have a little slack in my studies here or there, ne? Perfect Usagi, just tell him your secret, the one that could destroy the universe, brilliant idea. Oh crap, I have to talk to Pluto! What if Mamoru knowing my half secret affects the time line somehow? Nice going, Odango.' "I can't really explain it to you, Mamoru-san. It ties into the whole ordeal, and I told you that I can't and won't answer questions that are asked. I would tell you if I had the choice, I truly, honestly would. But it isn't my decision to make, and you'll just have to trust me on that." Hopefully that'll tie him over.

He took in a deep breath and slowly released it before responding. "Okay, Usagi-chan. I won't make you tell me if you feel like you can't, but I am curious, you know that." I nodded my head, allowing him to continue. "I, oh god, this is going to sound really awkward, I know, but, did you want to hang out sometime, maybe?" His voice was full of hope and uncertainty, like he was nervous. My eyes widened and I turned away, hoping he wouldn't catch the flush that spread across my cheeks. "I-I, listen. I know we don't know that much about the other, but I do trust you and know you're a good person, and I'd like to get to know you better. We'd just be friends, no strings attached, deal?"

My head shot up when he uttered the words 'friends'. 'Friends? Is that all he wants from me? After I showed him who I really am, he still doesn't feel anything for me?' My heart dropped in my chest before hitting the ground, shattering into tiny pieces. But I couldn't let him know that. If he saw me as another girl with a silly crush on him then he may not want to be friends. If it was all I could get then I would gladly accept the offer. I plastered a fake smile on my face that didn't reach my eyes and nodded slowly, after which breaking eye contact. "Hai, Mamoru-san. I'd like that. I could use someone I can talk to, about, _this_."

In the corner of my eyes I could see him smiling. 'Well I'm glad he's happy.' Even my inner voice was getting to be grouchy and sarcastic. Oi. "Great. How about I meet you here tomorrow after school? We could go somewhere and talk, since I know you're dying to talk to someone," he nudged my arm with his elbow, the friendliest physical contact there was. This was going to be torture; I could smell it in the air. 'Wait, tomorrow, that's when the senshi meeting is! Great Usagi, finally get him to invite you out only to decline. Smart girl, you are!'

I started to rub the back of my neck and tried to think of the best way to say this, "Um, tomorrow, tomorrow isn't that great. I have this, _thing_, I have to do with the girls after school, and I swore I'd do it, so, I can't _not_, do, um, it." I replied sheepishly, switching from his eyes to a small woolly on the collar of his shirt. Once I settled back on his face I saw his disappointment and embarrassment. "No! I mean, uh, I really, _really_ would like to go with you, but I can't back out of this, they're counting on me. Could we maybe do it, say, Wednesday afternoon? I don't think I made any plans with the girls that day," Inside I was begging for him to accept. I didn't want to lose my chance at a civil relationship with the man.

His face welcomed back the warm smile I desired so much and relief flooded my system. "That's fine, Usagi-chan. Wednesday it is. Did you, uh, still want me to call you Odango? Well, I know you don't _want_ me to, but just so that it won't cause any suspicion, I guess. Though, us hanging out will be enough to give Hino-san a heart attack," he muttered the last part to himself. Rei had a crush on him, everybody knew that. Most of the female population in Juuban had a crush on him, which made me nauseous. He's never taken up on their offers, but that doesn't mean he never will. I was so caught up in my jealousy that I forgot he was asking if I wanted people to know about us or not. It took him shaking me by the shoulders a little and repeating the question for me to realize just how sad he looked when asking it. My heart broke all over again. I wasn't ashamed at _all_ to be seen with him. How could he think such a thing? Normally he has people standing in line to be his friend, or more. There came that jealousy again. But before the green could completely cloud my vision I answered his question.

"Mamoru-san! I would never be ashamed to be seen with you. And don't try to act like that's not what you're asking cause I can see it in your eyes." I scolded him before he had a chance to deny my claim. "Everyone's always telling me to treat you nicely anyway, might as well give them what they ask for. And I know Motoki's been telling you the same thing. It's Motoki. The man would try to reason with Hitler. You can call me Odango if you want, up to you, it really doesn't make a difference to me, now that I know it isn't degrading." But before I could go any further he clamped my hand in his, resulting in me staring into those blue orbs swarming with guilt.

"Usagi-chan, Odango, hell, Usako for crying out loud, I never meant for you to feel like I was trying to degrade you. I was just teasing you, I didn't think you actually cared about it." His sputtered it out so fast that I almost didn't catch his calling me 'Usako', but I did. A little broom and dust bin popped into my mind and began to sweep up the shards of my broken heart and then brought it back up to its resting place, in perfect condition.

"Relax, it's okay. It was just annoying at first, but it hurt a little after I changed because I thought you were still seeing me as that cry-baby, even though that was what I was trying to do. It's okay, no harm done," I gave him a smile and rubbed my thumb along his hand to reassure him of my statement and was rewarded with his smile. "Like I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted," I joked, seeing him chuckle a little, "whatever you call me is fine." I paused to work up the courage for my next stunt. "Yes, even Usako." I stared into his eyes nonchalantly to see his reaction. They widened at first, then he began to smile sheepishly and a tinge of pink rose to his cheeks, making him look like the little boy who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "I don't see why we can't be friends and have to hide it. This way, it isn't just me who's suddenly crazy. Is that okay with you?" I was trying to hide my disappointment when I called us friends. I had never hated a word so much before in either of my lives. But if that's what I had to do, then I'd do it in a heartbeat.

I could see him studying me for a few brief seconds, a whole collection of emotions displaying themselves on his face only to be thrown off and replaced by a new one. I didn't have enough time to process any of them except for the last one. Determination.

He closed his eyes as he shook his head, causing my stomach to flutter. 'He doesn't want to be friends? This can go one of two ways, and please gods let it be the one I've been praying for.' He ceased all movement in his body and opened his eyes. "No." Before I could question his motives, before I could think up a response, he leaned in and a Rosette's song played in my head.

And then he kissed me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** I in no way own anything pertaining to Sailor Moon. Sailor Moon belongs to Naoko Takeuchi and Toei Animations, none of which I am a part of. Insert clever quick witted statement of wishing to own Sailor Moon Here.

**Summary:** Usagi knows of her life on the Moon, and she knows who each of her friends are reincarnations of. But no one else knows, and she isn't about to tell them.

**Chapter Three:**

I couldn't believe it. Here's the man of my dreams, who I thought I'd have to wait another lifetime for, kissing me in the back in the Arcade's staff room. Well I never thought I'd see the day.

The familiar feeling I got when his lips touched mine sent tingles down my spine, just as they did 1000 years ago. His lips were still soft and warm, unchanged by the time that has past. The one thing that did surprise me was his gentleness. Endymion had been a compassionate man, and he'd given plenty of gentle caresses, but he had to be taught. And here was Mamoru, half the man he was before, missing what I thought was his soft side, though it seems to have managed to seep through him more than ever before.

He had somehow moved closer to me, his outer thigh touching mine with our torsos twisting to face each other. His hands found their way onto either side of my face, his fingers grazing my hair. I slowly brought mine up, resting one of the top of his shoulder, the other on his chest, just above his steady heartbeat.

I was the first to pull back, unfortunately, though I couldn't bring myself to open my eyes. If all of this turned out to be a dream, I didn't know what I would do with myself. His right hand grazed my cheek, with his knuckles, while the left brushed my hair out of my eyes. He was being so tender and caring that I didn't know what to do with myself.

Reluctantly, I opened my eyes and met dark indigo ones. His gaze was so deep I found myself backing away slightly, but I couldn't remove my eyes from his. It was as if he was studying me, trying to calculate my next move. Once I realized he was waiting for me to talk, I opened my mouth, only to find my throat dry.

I tried to clear it a few times until I felt like I wouldn't choke and I uttered the only word I could think of; "Wow."

At my confession, the seriousness on his face melted into a grin that filled his eyes with joy, telling me he felt the same way. I found his smile contagious and felt a smile fall across my face as well. "So, I take it we're not friends after all?" I asked him with a sparkle in my eye. We were far beyond the realm of friendship at that point.

"Well, since I don't do that with Motoki-kun, I'd have to say no, we are definitely not friends," he tried to deliver in a stern tone of voice. His seriousness only caused me to burst out laughing, a giggle fit taking over my system. I felt so happy at that moment. My Mamo-chan had finally come home to me and once he received the other half of his soul, we could be together, completely.

"Yeah, Rei and I don't exactly show our feelings like that either. Fourteen year old girls aren't quite that compassionate towards one another," I giggled out. At least, I giggled until I found myself looking at a Mamo-chan caught in the headlights. 'What did I do?' He looked as if he'd seen a ghost. And with my luck, it would have been Queen Serenity popping up behind my shoulder.

After staring into his eyes a few more moments, still seeing his horrified expression, I started to worry. "Mamo-chan? What's wrong?" The fact that he flinched at my name for him caused my heart to ache with pain. I thought our relationship had improved somehow, but from the way he was looking at me, I knew I had assumed too much too fast. "Mamoru-san," I corrected myself, not wanting to deal with more embarrassment, "What's wrong? Did I do something? Gomen." I sputtered out in a rush. If he was mad at me for some unknown reason, I think I would've had a heart attack right then and there.

"Usa—Odango, this can't happen." His words were cold and hurtful, much like the old, closed-off Mamoru I had grown used to, but after seeing such a compassionate side of him, it was heart wrenching to see him revert back to his old ways. I could feel the tears building up in my eyes and I cursed at myself for my weakness. He would never want to be with me if he saw me crying again. "I don't know what happened just then but, we can't. We just can't," he continued.

"Why?" I couldn't help but ask, feeling my voice crack as I did. I had to know what had made him change his mind so quickly. "What did I do?"

"No," he sighed in exasperation, like he was trying to explain quantum physics to a toddler. "You didn't do anything. But," he continued, sounding like he was trying to convince himself more than me, "You're 14—"

I cut him off; that wasn't a problem! "Mamo-chan, I don't care about our ages. It doesn't matter; don't worry about it, okay?" I tried to comfort him by giving him a reassuring smile and squeezing his hand tightly in mine.

He jerked his hand away as if it had burnt him. "No, that's not it. Don't; don't call me Mamo-chan, please. It isn't right." I couldn't understand where he was coming from. We had just shared a moment, I was sure of it. "I love someone else."

With those words, I felt my world crumble beneath my feet, and I couldn't care less. Every glimmer of hope I had was shattered. He had already fallen for somebody, somebody who wasn't me. I had lost my love, my life, my other half. I knew my eyes were expressing how distraught I felt, and thank the gods that they were because I couldn't find any words to express how I felt.

"Gomen, Usagi. Gomen," he whispered, as if it hurt to say. Why would it hurt him? I was, apparently, just a bother and in the way of his love, though that didn't explain why he wanted to be friends after I spilled my guts on my sudden change, then more, then no relationship at all. He rose from his seat, walking in long strides to the door leading back into the arcade without looking back once.

I slowly wrapped myself back into the little ball I had formed earlier and cried. Large, silent tears fell from my eyes for so long that I thought I had lost all of the moisture in my body.

After all that, after all the things I confessed to him, things that I didn't trust anyone else with, he left me. 'What am I supposed to do with him now? How am I supposed to react the next time I see him? He knows I'm a 'fake', and have a major crush on him. Will he use that against me in our fights? Will we even fight at all?'

And I would have stayed there in that pitiful position if it weren't for that incessant beeping noise coming from my communicator. Of course there would be a youma, why wouldn't there be? I tried to wipe my tears with the sleeves of my now-drenched school uniform, realizing it wasn't helping any and that I was shaking. Reaching open my watch I commanded my senshi, "Moon here, where is it?"

Normally I'd ask what was up, but I was too emotionally tired to play the ditz right now. Jupiter looked at me with weary eyes, "It's down in the Juuban shopping district, along that ramen restaurant we always stop into. Hurry, Mars and Mercury are across town, and I'm getting tired, quick." And with that, the senshi of lightning clicked out of the screen and back to battle as far as I knew.

Pulling myself together, I walked to the door where my love had exited and looked both ways to make sure no one was following me. Carefully, I tiptoed to the back exit and into the side alley. Calling out my henshin. "Moon Prism Power! Make-Up!"

I became surrounded with white light and pink ribbons, landing back onto my feet as the super heroine of Tokyo. Like that made me feel any better. Gathering my energy, I leaped onto the arcade's roof and hopped as fast as I could to the battle grounds.

What I failed to see was my Motoki-onii-chan hidden behind a pile of garbage bags while taking out the trash. He, however, had not failed to see me.

--

After the battle, Mercury and Mars had finally shown up, we were all exhausted. It was the typical youma; huge boobs, snarly teeth and in some ridiculous, skanky outfit. It was a nurse this time. Tuxedo Kamen had come to my rescue again, as always, but in his arms was the last place I wanted to be.

"I hate to say this, but great job Moon. You got here before I did," complimented my senshi of fire, if you could call that a compliment. As usual, she had to make some sort of crack at my display chronic tardiness.

Pulling on a weary smile I thanked her and turned around to leave. However, my girls didn't seem ready to let me go just yet.

"Sailor Moon, where are you going? We were going to hang out." Here came Mercury, always the negotiator.

"No thanks, minna. I'm pretty tired from the battle; think I might just go home and sleep it off," I smiled back at them and turned to leave, when I once again got disrupted.

"Moon! You can sleep anytime. Just snap out of it and come with us already! You know you're hungry, as always," snapped Mars. I know we fight like sisters, but sometimes her comments really do hurt me.

"Just because I tend to eat more than the average person doesn't mean I'm not entitled to my own melancholy moods. If you'd just leave me the hell alone for once I could get some rest, instead of living off five hours of sleep a freaking night! I'm not some pig who squeals when food comes around, you know, and I'd appreciate it if you could all just leave me be, just this once!" Okay, over the edge? Yes. But I am tired, heartbroken, starving, besides what I may have told my senshi, and I just want to be alone. Is it SO hard to understand?

Jupiter took this moment to speak up, since Mars' words would've gotten crueller, Mercury isn't always the best one for girl talk, and Venus hadn't been able to make it to battle. "Sailor Moon, what's wrong? You seem off; really, really off. Is it Luna, or-or that baka? I swear I will kick his a—"

"Enough! Is it so wrong for me to want peace and quiet for once?" I pleaded. They were starting to get on my last nerve. "Besides, I have homework to do, and Luna will get worried. Bye guys." And with that, I made my exit. I really couldn't care less what my senshi thought of my attitude at that point; you do NOT get in the way of an irate female.

--

Of course I'd leave my school bag in the arcade; I'm just that kind of gal, playing the ditz or not. Walking into the arcade, I made sure to keep watch for Mamoru; he was the last person I wanted to run into at that point. I still had his paper for school in my bag, and knew I had to get it to him somehow, but, the idea of confrontation was none too appealing. When the coast was clear, I closed my eyes and sighed in relief, until I bumped right into a hard chest and wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

Upon opening my eyes, I saw someone I didn't expect. "Motoki-onii-san? Are you okay? Gomen, I wasn't looking where I was going," I quickly apologized and went over to the counter to grab my bag, but it wasn't there. "Oh, onii-san, did you see my bag? It was here earlier, I, uh, left in a hurry and forgot about it."

He grabbed my upper arm and ushered me into the back room. "Motoki, what's wrong? I'd really rather not be here-for too long! I mean, Okaa-san expects me home soon." 'Baka!' I berated myself, 'You almost told him something happened with Mamoru! Now wouldn't that be a pleasant experience?'

"Relax Usagi-chan, I have your bag." He looked into my eyes and I could see concern as well as mischief. "Or should I say, Sailor Moon?"

Thud. That'd be the sound of my body hitting the floor after fainting.

--

When I woke up after fainting, I was none too happy. First off, Motoki-kun was so close up in my face that I could count the freckles on his nose. Second, my head was killing after my third concussion of the day, and third, he knew I was Sailor Moon! When my mind finally registered why I fainted in the first place, my mouth went dry, and my mind blank.

"Motoki-kun," I warned him. He couldn't know I was Sailor Moon. "What kind of nonsense are you talking about? Of course I'm not Sailor Moon, you baka," I had hoped that scolding him would chase away any notion he had about my alter ego.

He gave me a reassuring smile and I hung my head in defeat. He knew, by gods, somehow he knew, and with this man being more hard-headed than myself when he got something into his mind, it was a moot point to argue. "Usagi-chan, I saw you when you left. I was taking out the garbage, gomen. But, why didn't you tell me? Don't you trust me?"

I took a seat and rubbed my temples with my fingertips, feeling a headache coming on. 'Oi, this will be a while.' "Motoki-kun, it isn't that I don't trust you, because I do. But knowing who I am could put you in danger, which I don't want to do. Sit down, we have to talk."

When I asked him to sit down, his smile widened to spread across his entire face. "Oh, Usagi-chan, this is so cool! It's like a Japanese James Bond, but in a skirt, ne?" This comment caused me to sweat drop, but I quickly recovered, imagining how exciting it must sound to an onlooker. Trust me, the job doesn't have great pay. "So, where'd this all start? Or when? How? Why are you Sailor Moon anyway? And what's going on with all of this? Ooh, Usagi-chan, you're with Tuxedo Kamen! That's so great for you! You deserve someone as great as him. Well, I suppose he's great, I mean, I've never seen the guy. What's he like? What are the rest of the senshi like? That Jupiter, boy, is she strong, ne?"

I take back my previous comment. Most people would not act like this. He's acting like some giddy school girl who got a cupcake from her secret crush, not like an older brother figure whose younger sister figure fights monsters from another dimension on a daily basis. I really wish I had that cupcake right now to shove down his throat. And here comes the headache! "Motoki-kun, stop. You're giving me a headache. I already have a lot on my plate, and having someone hear your voice through these, need I remind you, paper thin walls and learning of my secret is something I don't need to deal with. I'll answer your questions, but just, for kami's sake, give me a second to breathe."

I thought he would've gotten upset, with me snapping at him like that, but his hearty smile didn't falter, and that added a new symptom to my growing list; nausea. He looked like a kid in a candy store.

"Motoki, to start off, you cannot, I repeat, cannot tell anyone about this. Not Unazuki, Reika, anyone! I'm Sailor Moon because of something that happened in my past life. I wasn't a senshi back then, I was a princess. The princess of the Moon …"

--

After my bed time story about the Silver Millennium, Motoki was on the edge of his seat, hanging onto my every word. I left out everyone's identities in this life, but told him that Tuxedo Kamen was Prince Endymion. I told him of the changes I went through, and how I'm not an airhead anymore.

"Wow, Tsuki-hime, that's so cool!" Motoki, on the other hand, wasn't quite over the initial shock of it all, and was still in complete awe of me. "Can you transform for me?"

I groaned, for what seemed to be the billionth time since the beginning of this conversation. He really was too much. "No, Motoki-kun, I won't transform. When we henshin, we are completely nude. So, I'd rather not give you a show, okay? Wait—you said you saw me transform before! Motoki-hentai!"

I jumped up off of the couch and scrambled towards the wall. This was onii-san! He blanched and I was now face to face with an onii-san in the headlights. "No, Usagi-chan, I didn't actually see you transform, I just saw you come out, then sudden lights, and you as Sailor Moon hop away. I didn't know you would be, er, naked. Gomen." He bowed his head in search of an apology and he got one.

I walked back to the couch and gave him a hug, and we just stayed there for a while. I felt totally relaxed, even though I know I shouldn't have. Someone knew my identity. I should resemble a chicken with its head chopped off right about now, but it was Motoki and it was comforting to just have someone to share all of this with. I had Mamoru to talk with about some of the things, for a few minutes at least, but I highly doubt we're gonna be buddies after the day is over. Oh gods, I still don't know what to do with Mamoru!

"How about I get you're a fudge sundae, ne? That always makes you feel better."

Shaking my head furiously, I declined. "Nooooo, Motoki-onii-san, ice cream is the last thing I want right now. My stomach can't handle all of this junk food anymore."

He seemed to have understood, so he smiled and looped his arm through mine, grabbing my school bag in the other, and we waltzed back into the Arcade. We had only been in that room for an hour or so, but already the crowd had died down and it was peaceful. This after school rush was over with, so it was quiet and contempt.

But, it wasn't quite empty enough for my tastes, because outside the counter, staring straight at me, was Mamoru. And let me tell you, he wasn't looking too peachy at the moment. "Ma-Mamoru-san, hello," I greeted him, quite awkwardly, I might add. I wasn't sure how to respond to him, I mean, he had rejected me after he _kissed_ me.

His eyes turned cold and narrowed into little slits, making me slide behind Motoki in an attempt to avoid them. "Odango, did you have fun with Motoki-kun in there?" His voice was cold as well, and he was looking at me as if I was revolting.

"Mamoru-kun, go easy on Usagi-chan. She's had a rough day," Motoki covered for me, buying me some time to try on my thinking cap, "Come on, let's get you something to snack on at least, okay?" He comforted me with a smile and a gripping my hand, and I couldn't help but smile back. My onii-san always looked out for me.

"Oh, I'm sure she's had a rough day. Since I was such bad company, you had to go running off to Motoki to satisfy your needs? For kami's sake Odango, have at least a shred of dignity." He was sneering and snapping at me, all the while throwing dirty looks at Motoki. "With all that grunting and groaning you two were at, seems he helped you out a lot more than I did, ne?"

Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, no. He thinks I did THAT with onii-san? "Mamoru-san, get your head out of the gutter!" I snapped, "Onii-san and I were just talking, nothing else happened. You know he's like a brother to me." I stopped and stared at him for a moment, trying to see what his angle was. "And besides, what should you care? What I do and whom with is none of your concern, I think you made that quite clear this afternoon, ne?" I couldn't help but go onto battle mode with him. If I didn't fight then I would've just broken down and cried. How could he think such terrible things of me?!

"Oh don't go playing innocent, Odango. You tried to get me this afternoon, but when you failed, you had a back up plan. Isn't that right?" He was now less than a foot in front of me, leaning down to become eye level. And those same eyes that were full of warmth earlier that afternoon had now caused me to freeze all movements. He had done a complete 180. He loved some other girl, so why should he give a damn if I did something with Motoki anyway?

During this entire ordeal, Motoki was sitting back with a look of confusing covering his face. I hadn't told him that Mamoru was Tuxedo Kamen and my Prince, because I thought that was his secret to keep. But he wasn't making it easy for me. "Mamoru-kun, back off. Usagi-chan and I didn't do anything. I mean, come on, it's Usagi, she's a child."

At that comment, Mamoru and I both cringed. I did it for being called a child; Mamoru, for having done such things with a child. This thought, apparently, put Mamoru back in his place, which was even worse.

"You're right Motoki-kun. She's nothing but a child; a spoiled, conniving, sneaky, slutty child." Mamoru's voice had lowered down into a whispered hiss at the end, leaving it only for my ears only, though Motoki's expression showed that he had heard as well. And with that, he stormed out of the Arcade, leaving a heartbroken bunny and shell-shocked waiter in his wake.

On a completely trivial note, I decided to burn his paper the minute I got home.

'Time for round two.' I told myself, grabbing Motoki by the arm and dragging him back into that god awful room. Once I had him plunkered down on the couch and eyes back into their appropriate sockets, I tried to think of whether I should tell him everything.

"U-Usagi-chan, why did Mamoru call you a slut? Did something happen between the two of you? B-because, y-you said you had TK for that, right? He's your prince," Motoki was babbling, his voice switching octaves every few words and he was still genuinely confused.

"Motoki, I love Prince Endymion, and Tuxedo Kamen. But I have feelings for Mamoru-san as well. Do you understand?" I tried the calm approach. I took his hands into mine, and spoke in a soft voice, almost like I was cooing him. Like he was a child I was trying to rock to sleep.

"Usagi-chan! How could you do such a thing to Tuxedo Kamen?! He's your love, what are you doing gallivanting around with Chiba?!" He all but screamed at me. I was beginning to realize that he was really slow.

I stood up and began rubbing my temples again, trying to tell him who Mamoru was without being too abrupt and causing him heart failure. "Motoki. Today, I had mistakenly let my true self come forth, and Mamoru realized something was wrong, and that I wasn't a ditz. We talked, though I didn't tell him anything to do with Sailor Moon or anything like that. We ended up kissing—sit back down, you are NOT going after him." I had to go drill sergeant on his ass to keep him from chasing down Mamoru and giving him a beating for touching his 'little sister'. "We ended up kissing. Now, I care for Mamoru-kun a whole lot; a lot more than you can imagine. In the same respects, I would never do anything to hurt Endy or Tuxedo Kamen. Is this starting to make sense?" I spoke every word slowly and clearly so that he wouldn't have the luxury of missing a beat.

I could hear the creaks of the cogs in his head as they turned, after becoming rusty from being left alone for so long. He was whispering things under his breath, twitching his head every few paces, and he began counting on his fingers for some unexplained reason. After a few minutes, it seemed as though Mamoru's glamour that protected his identity had been worked away and the back of Motoki's eyes became reacquainted with the air. This worried me even more, because that meant that people didn't even have to physically see us henshin; if they focused enough and broke down that magical barrier the glamour created in their minds, they could figure out our identities!

I was snapped out of my reverie when Motoki frantically grabbed my shoulders and shook me, causing me to look up into his floating eyes. His mouth was gaped open like a fish, and I knew this was still a lot for him to handle. "Yes, Motoki, Mamoru is Tuxedo Kamen, and Prince Endymion."

Thud. This would be the sound of someone else's body dropping to the ground from fainting. At least it wasn't me this time.

--

A few minutes later, after flicking his face repeatedly, Motoki awoke and stared at me like I was the crypt keeper. You'd think that after all the things I had told him, Mamoru's secret would be a little less shocking, but no. Apparently your best friend in a cape is MUCH harder to believe than your little sister friend being a reincarnated princess from the gosh darned (T Rating) Moon who fights youmas with a tiara. Go figure.

"Mamoru is Tuxedo Kamen, I'm Sailor Moon. We were in love 1000 years ago on the Moon when I was the Princess there and he was the Prince of Earth. We died, we're back, and we have sparkly magically powers. Now STOP passing out!" People always say that being blunt is the best way to go, so I figured I had nothing to lose.

Motoki blinked a few times, showing he still hadn't processed it all. Then, he looked into my eyes and I could see them change from shock to … greed.

"Usagi-chan, could I get your autograph?"

Thud. The sound of my cranium hitting the wall.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

--

Kon'wa, Tonya-chan here. I'd really like to know what you all think of this Chapter. It was hard to decide which direction Usagi & Mamoru's relationship would go in, but I threw all the mushy gushy thoughts away and popped onto the Angst Express. Reviews are always great, thought they aren't adding up to the number of hits I have. Tsk, tsk Readers. Tsk, tsk. And as for Tori-chan's comment on the Translations, I had made a note 'to myself' to remind me to write Japanese translations for everything I wrote in this Chapter. She thought it was an order for her to fill. I am not a slave driver, thank you very much ; )

--

Hello! My name is Tori Kay and I'm the beta-reader for this series. I hope you found this chapter to be just as enjoyable as I did. Tonya-chan did a great job with the first draft so I didn't need to change nor suggest much. Anyways, she asked me to include the Japanese translations (Well… At least I thought she did. Lol.) . So all of you who aren't avid anime, manga, or fanfiction readers, here ya go!

Gomen: I'm sorry

Odango: Dumpling, also a teasing name about Usagi's hairstyle

Henshin: Transformation or disguise

Tuxedo Kamen: Tuxedo Mask

Minna: Everyone

Baka: Idiot, moron, ingrate, et cetera (Usagi's degrading nickname for Mamoru)

-san: Polite way of addressing someone

Okaa: Mother

Kami: God

Hentai: Pervert

Tsuki: Moon

-hime: Princess

-chan: a term of endearment when attached to a male name (or can be meant to tease); a term of endearment or sign of closeness that is attached to the end of a female's name

-onii: Brother or a brother-like figure

-kun: Term of endearment or sign of closeness that is attached to the end of a male's name


	4. Author's Note: Explanations

Konnichi'wa minna-chan. Yes, I know, another Author's Note, what a horrid, horrid little tease I am. I was getting some complaints/mixed messages on the reviews, for both my works actually, so I decided to clear them up.

In My Little Secret, quite a lot happened in Chapter Three, I realize. Mamoru went from hot to cold to snarky and bitter, Motoki turned into a lump of ditzy glitter, and Usagi found refuge in Motoki. There are explanations, I can assure you.

Let's tackle the Motoki issue first, cause he always brightens my day. Motoki may have (no, pretty much DID) come off as an idiotic airhead in this Chapter. I love Motoki. He's my favourite character in fan fiction, he's just so much fun to play around with. I always imagined that when Motoki learned the girls' and Mamoru's identities, he'd blow a gasket then ask for all the dirty details. I think of him as the bubbliness of Minako, protectiveness of Makoto and happy go luckiness of Usagi. Sorry if that wasn't proper English. I wanted to play around with his reaction. I made him giddy when first being in on Tokyo's biggest secret, then googly eyed like a school girl when demanding he know more. I wanted to play up the anime style of imagery, all of those comical expressions.

Usagi's newfound safety net has been questioned as well. Yes, she had confided in Mamoru in Chapter Two, but she still couldn't tell him everything, she had to keep her guard up somewhat, but could act like herself; she just had to keep a few secrets from him. After Mamoru's straight out rejection, she no longer thought of him as someone she could talk to and have them understand her. Insert Motoki Here. He knows her secret identity, so she really didn't see a reason not to tell him the whole shebang. She did not, however, tell him off Mamoru's identity, because she thought Mamoru would tell him when he felt ready. WELL, that went out the window when Motoki saw Mamoru call Usagi a slut and insinuating that something had happened between the two. She knew she had to tell him who Mamoru was, if not he'd think her a whore cheating on her Prince. NOW, she finally has someone who knows everything. Not one thing is hidden from him. Haven't you ever had someone learn a secret of yours and rather than freak out, become relaxed and tranquil from not having to hide it anymore ?

You may also be thinking that Usagi should be more heartbroken after what Mamoru had said to her. Well, not my Odango. I see Usagi as one strong little bugger who won't give up, no matter how shocked and hurt she was to begin with. She sees everything through rose tinted glasses so she isn't giving up on Mamoru just yet.

Now, to the source of the problem. Chiba Mamoru. What can I say, the man is an enigma. He kissed her, yes. This shows he has feelings for her. He was happy, yes. This repeats the emotion. He freaked when he realized she truly was only fourteen years old, and he a pervert, yes. He ALSO began mentally slapping himself upside the head when he remembered the girl he loved, and had just deceived by kissing Usagi. He was caught up in the moment, if you will. It is still possible to love someone and have feelings for another, which is what Mamoru is feeling, although he doesn't want to hurt either girl any more than he has to.

Mamoru's 180. Yes, that was a bit strong, I do agree, but that will be explained in good time, as well. He walked into the Arcade to hear grunts and groans coming from the back room (which was Usagi getting frustrated with Motoki, but how was he to know) only to see his best friend and side crush walk out, arm in arm. What was the man supposed to think ? No, he wasn't involved with Usagi, officially, but they had still shared something that afternoon. Did he overreact ? Perhaps. But imagine his day. Becoming attracted to Odango Atama in the morning, unexpectedly. Not having his paper for his Economy class (unknowest to him he'll never get his hands on it NOW). Reverting back to his and Odango's old ways, thank kami. Discovering a broken girl and feel your heart ripped out. Discovering a mature, unseen side of said girl. Kissing said girl. Remembering he was in love with another and having to nip it in the bud. Thinking to himself all evening after a very cold and hurtful run in with Sailor Moon. Returning to the Arcade to find the objection of his thoughts waltzing back into public after an apparent shag with his best friend. A little much for one day, don't you think ?

Calling her a slut was cruel, yes, and over the line as well. But I needed a reason for Usagi to have to tell Motoki of Mamoru's identity because I wanted to get it ALL out in the open. It was also another opportunity to exploit my naïve little Motoki, and we all know how much fun that is.

So, I ended off all of the angst and heartache with some humor to leave you all on a somewhat good note, albeit I must've confused the hell out of you, gomen. I'm also hoping/thinking of writing a Chapter, perhaps the next in Mamoru's point of view. It may be of the same day the first three Chapters are based on, so his actions won't seem so alien. I may scrap that idea and keep this in Usagi's POV. I know I'm not going to have this be a cheap ending. After all of their fighting, did you honestly think they'd become a couple after one conversation, no matter how heart warming it was ? I've always hated quick endings with a passion, where Usagi and Mamoru fight the whole damn story, think to themselves how they love the other, say a few cheesy lines then make out and have the credits roll. That is NOT how I do things, let me tell you that right now. Not that any of my writing will simulate real life, cause, this IS Sailor Moon we're talking about here. A tad bit more interesting than separating your whites from your darks. Although, I don't know how to do laundry, so I couldn't say.

After all that being said, my flimsy excuses out of the way, sometimes writers just don't produce what the readers want to see. I may be making the wrong choices, but I'm an inexperienced writer making this all up as I go, so there's no saying what horrid things I should write in the future. This goes beyond not being able to please everyone at once. Sometimes the authors just suck at keeping their story in line, I just hope that what I'm doing will turn out alright in the end.

Any more questions, don't refrain from reviewing, and if it's before I finish the new Chapter, I may include its explanation in this A/N. I hope all of you who have Alerts on this don't hate me for updating twice in as many days, with neither being an actual Chapter. You have my humblest apologies for being a thorn in your email's side. I'm going to leave this Document posted until I upload Chapter Four so it will help explain concerns that many Readers seem to share. I do not know if I will write these notes after every Chapter, but I really would hate to see you all confused so, at least for now, I plan on helping you all out ; )

Yours so truly it hurts, Tonya-chan … or Tonya-sempai to the short ones : P


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